There was a time when I thought that I knew what love was... I mean yes, I know what it is to love my parents, my friends and the love that I have for my children is unmatched... but to be "in love", to have someone touch your core... I never knew what a good feeling that could be until now. It is terrifying, truthfully - especially to a control freak... As a person who hates to lose control, one who despises being vulnerable, to love someone unconditionally - even when you believe that it is unrequited - that is a tough pill to swallow... yet here I am.
Another sleepless night, deep in thought - trying to pinpoint exactly when you went from my homegirl's friend to the man I think of when I first wake up in the morning and right before I go to bed at night... I trust you to not intentionally hurt me - and that's a first.
Don't get me wrong, I know that he is far from perfect - but then none of us are... but he is all that I asked for and more... that charisma, the attention he commands when he enters a room, the way he makes me laugh - even at myself, and the intellectual stimulation is like no other - I actually respect his thoughts... I love how he moves through life (albeit haphazardly at times), and how he handles his business - I even respect the way he deals with women... I may not like it, not at all - but I respect it... what I adore the most though is how he makes me feel. He sets my soul at ease. Never before in my life have I ever been more comfortable with someone of the opposite sex. Around him, I am 100% myself... and I really believe he accepts me for who I am... flaws and all. It's nice... and effortless.
He is my friend... and at this point in our friendship, there are no guarantees and a world of doubt... I don't know where we will end up - but I know he has forever changed how I look at love. Never before have I ever witnessed an emotion so powerful. I know that I will be his if he will have me - but only if I make him as happy as he makes me. If that is not the case, then I will gladly walk away - because I wish him nothing but happiness in this life, even if it is not with me.
That is true love - when you will do ANYTHING to ensure the others happiness... even at the expense of your own.
